


Neverpeak

by tiggeryumyum



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Child Hinata Shouyou, Child Iwaizumi Hajime, Child Kageyama Tobio, Child Tanaka Ryuunosuke, Child Tsukishima Kei, Child Yamaguchi Tadashi, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Kid Fic, M/M, One-sided Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-25
Updated: 2017-11-06
Packaged: 2019-01-05 04:14:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12182694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tiggeryumyum/pseuds/tiggeryumyum
Summary: There's currently twenty-three children at Miyagi's Center for Boys, all under age eight. Sugawara has been working there the past five years, and he shouldn't have a favorite, but he does, and as Tobio gets older he realizes things are going to get a little more complicated.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> The emotional meat of this story is going to be the parent-child bond between Sugawara and Kageyama, though Sugawara will fall in love and have a happy ending with Daichi, don't worry. <3
> 
> Iwaizumi/Oikawa is going to be a one-sided crush through the entirety of the story, with a hint something might happen in the far, far future. (it will) (don't worry)

"Suga-san."

Sugawara pulls on his apron, tying the knot at the back before turning to face the child in the doorway.

It's Tsukishima Kei, looking unusually solemn, and – wearing a backpack. 

Oh, no. 

Sugawara forces himself to smile. "Kei-chan!" he says. "Hello."

"Hello," Kei says, and gives a slight bow. "My brother is coming to take me home today. So. Goodbye."

"But you only came to stay with us a little while ago," Sugawara says, and bends down to take Kei's hand in his. "You really can't stay a little longer?"

"Nope," Kei says, turning his nose up. 

"Well," Sugawara says. "Maybe we can get you a special going away snack."

That brings a smile to Kei's face, and he nods. "Yeah!"

Sugawara stands, leading Kei toward the main areas – the kids really aren't supposed to be back here, where the staff takes their breaks and stores their personal belongings until the end of shift, but it's a hard rule to enforce with children this young. As best as some of them can understand, this center is their new home. Shouldn't they be allowed down a hallway in their own home?

"Will you still visit?" this weepy question is asked by Tadashi, who lingers at Kei's side like an uncertain shadow.

" _Maybe_ ," Kei sighs, sounding far older than five years old. "Nii-chan and I are going to be doing a _lot_ of fun things."

Tadashi stares for another moment, then bursts out in tears.

"But I'll probably visit!" Kei says, unsettled by the sight. "And – you can come to!"

"Really?"

"Yeah, you can visit me and nii-chan," Kei says. "Nii-chan's apartment is really cool, and I'll have _my own bedroom!_ " he shouts this down the hall, toward his current bedroom, sticking out his tongue. Kei hates sharing a room. He'd probably prefer a tent in the yard, as long as he could zip the doors shut on all visitors (except, perhaps, Tadashi).

Sugawara leads them to the kitchen. 

The usual afternoon snack is sliced fruits, vegetables, and crackers, but because of this very special occasion, Sugawara swears both Kei and Tadashi to secrecy – they're the only five year olds here, or that Sugawara's ever met, who can reliably keep a secret – and pulls down some of the wrapped cinnamon sugar bread they're planning for dessert this weekend.

"We'll be sorry to see you go, Kei-chan," Sugawara says. He ruffles Kei's hair, smiling as best he can, then shoos both of them out to the yard, so he can start getting snacks ready for the rest of the kids.

There's currently twenty-three children at Miyagi's Center for Boys, all under age eight. 

Some, like Kei, are the result of misfortune. His parents passed away in an accident, leaving Kei with an older brother who was still in school, and unable to take custody. Some, like Tadashi, were rescued from abusive or neglectful homes, and others were simply abandoned. Twenty-three is a good, comfortable number for the size of their staff, and a far better number than some of the previous years, where they were nearing thirty and forty. 

"Good afternoon, Suga-san."

"Tooru," Sugawara nods, still drying his hands as he joins him at the kitchen counter. "I saw Asahi at the gate on my way in." 

"He's bringing over a new boy tomorrow," says Tooru, not bothering to look up from the carrots he's chopping into neat, bite-sized slices. "Six years old. Shoyo."

"Six," Sugawara groans, picking up his own knife, trying to figure out the logistics of that. The five and six year olds share a room, and it's already at max capacity with twelve beds. Sugawara doesn't know where they'll put a thirteenth. "What's his story?"

"His parents have been out of the picture for a while," Tooru says. "And it looks like his uncle was arrested for something. Drunk and disorderly? It didn't sound very serious. But there's no family claiming him, so."

Tooru shrugs, and scrapes the carrots into a bowl.

"Hopefully it'll be a short stay," Sugawara says, tsking. "Why'd he have to go and be six years old?"

"A new friend for Tobio-chan, at least!"

Sugawara stops chopping the carrots and looks at Tooru, unimpressed. 

Tooru keeps smiling, starts humming, even, as he works, but it's forced, and he can obviously tell the barb was not as cleverly hidden as he had imagined.

Tooru is fourteen years old. 

He's a volunteer from the local high school, and a product of the centers himself, still housed at the teenager's center down the block. Tooru is more mature in some ways than Sugawara was at fourteen, but less in others. He was abandoned by his father as an infant, then abused by his mother until he was removed from his home at six years old. This history makes him inherently closer to the kids, but it has left him with an occasional mean streak that Sugawara imagines is more than just the typical smart-mouthed, teenage attitude.

But he is good with the kids, and they all adore him, even – unfortunately for Tooru – Tobio. 

Tobio does not have any friends at the center, and it is very unlikely this new boy will be any different. 

"What's left?" Sugawara asks once they finish the carrots, cucumbers, apples and pile in the grapes.

"That's it, except for the crackers," Tooru says, pulling the boxes down from the shelf. Sugawara nods, and leaves to start gathering the children from the yard and play areas. It's the early afternoon, three hours into free play, and most of the kids have started to wind down, easy to lure back inside and into the dining area. Sugawara counts as he goes… Kenjiro, Kei and Tadashi, makes fifteen… Chikara, Kanji, Shinji, and Tsutomu, twenty-one, twenty-two… now, where's twenty-three?

"Have you seen Tobio?" Sugawara asks one of the staffers, and they point to one of the playrooms.

"I just got him settled in. Watch out," they say, rolling their eyes a bit. "Your boy is in a _mood_."

Tobio's _moods_ are nothing to take lightly, and Sugawara braces himself as he walks around the corner. 

Tobio is sitting alone at a table, coloring quietly. He looks up when he hears Sugawara, and blinks.

Tobio is not smiling. 

Well, Tobio is not a smiley child. Sugawara sighs, and almost wishes Tobio _had_ been in a mood. It makes Sugawara nervous, how easily the rest of the staff members misinterpret Tobio's expressions and mannerisms. 

"Good afternoon, Tobio-chan," Sugawara says, smiling.

Tobio just stares, his mouth becoming a bit of a pout. This is when, if someone was expecting a tantrum, or saw Tobio's silence as rude, and reacted defensively, using a firm tone, they would make it a self-fulfilling prophecy. Tobio would spiral into a crying, shouting tantrum, which would set an awful atmosphere for the entire center resulting in Tobio being sent to bed early, while the staff all tsk to one another about _Tobio's moods._

But Sugawara can read his face and knows Tobio is just feeling discontent in a way that needs to be soothed. 

He bends down and holds out his arms.

Slowly, as though he'd rather not, Tobio sets down his crayon and stands up from the table. He walks into Sugawara's arms, and as soon as he's there, the gig is up. He's immediately trying to climb up into Sugawara's lap, clinging to his shirt, wanting to get as close as possible. Sugawara welcomes him, wrapping him up tight, smiling into the top of his head.

"Did you have fun today?"

Tobio shakes his head sharply.

"Oh no," Sugawara says, sympathetically. "Do you want to have fun now?"

Tobio shrugs.

"What were you drawing?" he asks.

"Nothing," Tobio says.

"It doesn't look like nothing to me," Sugawara says, craning over to look – but, actually, it sort of does. Just vague shapes. Wobbling circles and lines. Tobio can draw better than this, Sugawara's seen it, but it looks like Tobio was simply scribbling nonsensically, no investment or direction. 

What happened is easy enough to guess: Tobio was sat down by a staffer who didn't know what else to do with him, and Tobio patiently and obediently went along with it, was labeled a troublemaker for not smiling about it.

Sugawara sighs. 

Tobio has been at the center the longest – he was brought in the same week Sugawara started, just four months old. 

Sugawara, only fifteen at the time himself, had been mentally prepared to work with toddlers and grade school kids, a challenge he was familiar with. An infant that young was terrifying, and he had been stiff and awkward when handling Tobio, at first.

Tobio was a very patient baby, though, hardly fussy, watching with dark, dark eyes as Sugawara learned how to hold a bottle, how to swaddle, change diapers, how to tell the difference between a cry saying _I'm hungry_ and a cry saying _I'm angry_. A child that young needed constant attention, and once the rest of the staff realized Sugawara was capable of giving it, they were more than happy to leave him to it. 

In the years that followed, it was Sugawara who Tobio crawled to when he grew strong enough to push himself off his stomach. Sugawara he toddled toward on unsteady legs, reaching out for him as he did, and it was Sugawara's hands he dropped various treasures that he found in the backyard, shiny rocks and flowers and bugs, wanting to share his discoveries, and Sugawara he looked to for answers when he first saw a snail, when he couldn't open a candy wrapper, when his hand left in a print in freshly fallen snow. 

Sugawara shouldn't have favorites, and he tries not to show it, but none of the other children at the center fell asleep against Sugawara's chest, soothed by the familiar beat of Sugawara's heart. It's the reason they call Tobio _Sugawara's boy_ , and why some of them accuse him of spoiling Tobio when they think he can't hear.

He doesn't mind it, honestly, everyone has their favorites, even if they try not to. It's human nature. What he does mind, though, is the occasional backlash against Tobio for it, from staffers who think Tobio's difficulties are a result of Sugawara's favoritism spoiling him.

"Are you ready for snacks?" Sugawara asks, grunting a little as he stands, still holding Tobio in his arms.

Tobio nods, finally smiling. 

"Are you going to eat… _bell peppers_?"

Tobio is familiar with this game, and his smile grows, shaking his head no.

"Are you going to eat… _broccoli_?"

Tobio shakes his head no again.

"Are you going to eat… a shoe?"

"No!" he giggles, delighted. "Is – is your snack a shoe, Suga-san?"

"Well, if someone gives me a shoe, it would be rude to say no, wouldn't it?" Sugawara says with mock, over the top sincerity, and Tobio laughs again.

"Sugawara-san!" 

They're passing by the front entrance, and Sugawara looks over to sees Tsukishima Akiteru checking in at the front desk, waving.

"Akiteru!" Sugawara says, mood dimming a bit. He sets Tobio down, and gives him a little push toward the dining area, and Tobio runs off, still smiling. 

"What is it?" Akiteru asks, already on edge from Sugawara's expression. 

"Kei-chan's got his backpack," Sugawara warns. 

" _Ah_." Akiteru's expression turns a little flat, though not entirely surprised.

"I'll go grab him," Sugawara says. "He's already had a snack."

"Thanks," Akiteru says, and waits by the desk. Technically he's welcome to join them at the table, but Kei is one of the rare, lucky few who actually gets visits from his family, and it can lead to jealous tears and hurt feelings from the other children, especially if Akiteru brings his younger brother a gift, which looks like might be the case today. 

"Kei-chan – " is all Sugawara has to say before Kei is out of his chair, running so fast to the front that his backpack jumps violently on his back.

"Nii-chan!!" he says, running to the desk, jumping up into his brother's arms, and is barely caught in time. 

The rest of the boys are watching curiously as Akiteru carries Kei to one of the benches, Kei babbles on excitedly, face flushed pink with happiness, and Sugawara quickly closes the door on the scene. 

"Are there any big boy volunteers who can pass out plates?" Tooru asks from the other side of the room, carrying a large bowl, immediately distracting them.

The children are always excited for a chance to be one of Tooru's helpers, and every hand flies up.

"Hmm," Tooru says, setting the bowl on the table, looking over the group as he decides. "Akira-chan… Shigeru-chan… aaand," he bites his lip, and a few of the kids start bouncing in their seats, straining to lift their hands higher. Sugawara waits for him to say either Hajime or Yuutarou, his two favorites, who both have their hands up. "Tobio-chan!"

Tobio stiffens in surprise before hurrying to the front of the table to take the stack of plates and utensils from Tooru, carrying them around with a long, wobbly line of a smile.

It's an apology to Sugawara for his earlier insult, and Tooru is clearly a little embarrassed by it, refusing to look Sugawara's way. 

Sugawara allows this, smiling to himself as they start passing out the snacks.

"Wait, Ryu-chan," Sugawara says, when Ryu starts to take a bite from one of the apple slices as soon as they hit his plate. "Wait for everyone."

Ryu drops the slice, then crosses his arms and huffs. Huh. Ryunosuke is a very high energy child, but usually agreeable and easily redirected. Normally, that kind of reprimand would have Ryu apologizing with a wide, cheeky grin.

Sugawara blinks in surprise at his sudden attitude, but decides to let it go, moving down the row. Everyone has moods.

"Alright, now – " Sugawara says, once everyone's plate is full.

" _Thank you for the food!_ " the children say, then dig in.

Tobio is still smiling to himself with obvious pride as he eats. He watches Tooru closely when Tooru comes near his end of the table, obviously hoping for praise.

Sugawara can see the moment Tooru notices, and the slight, ever so slight reluctance before turning and giving Tobio a wide smile, and O.K. sign with his fingers. "Nice job, Tobio-chan."

Tobio goes pink, turning back to his snacks and eating as quickly as he can. 

When snack time is over, it's nap time for the younger ones, a short movie for the older ones, then dinner, then baths, then bed. 

" _Bono Bono_!" Sou says, when Sugawara asks if there are any requests while the kids are ushered out of the dining area. 

"That's a televsion show, Sou-chan. It only plays on Saturdays," Sugawara reminds him. "We're going to watch a video, one of our movies – "

The sound of plates moving distracts him, and Sugawara turns around to see Hajime still at the table, gathering up the dishes into a tall stack, moving with a nervous, almost fearful energy.

Sugawara bites the inside of his cheek. Hajime was a product of some of the most extreme neglect Sugawara has ever seen, and will sometimes fall into this, a fit where he feels like he has to take care of something. It hasn't happen in a while, and this particular episode is probably the result of not being chosen for the big boy task of passing out the plates. Before Sugawara can say anything, Tooru has noticed and is hurrying over, grabbing most of the plates from the top of the stack when he gets there, leaving a smaller stack that's possible for Hajime to carry.

"Is Hajime-san going to help me carry the dirty dishes?" Tooru asks, in a gentle voice Sugawara has only ever heard him use during one of Hajime's episodes. "So thoughtful!"

Tooru and Hajime disappear into the kitchen together, and don't reappear in the tv room until the movie they picked is almost half over. Hajime has properly calmed down by then, curling up against Tooru's side when they sit down together, uncharacteristically clingy, eyes drooping. 

Hajime is quiet, generally. And so is Akira. There's a difference between them and Tobio, though. Tobio sits a bit apart from the rest of the children, arms wrapped around his knees. Hajime and Akira don't have any problems communicating when they want to, but it often feels like Tobio is struggling with something that Sugawara can't see.

These thoughts distract him all through the movie, and helping the babies and toddlers from the nursery to the dining hall once again.

He's in the middle of piling rice onto Chikara's plate when there's a sudden, high pitched scream from the yard. 

"I hate you!!!"

It's an painfully familiar sound. 

"Kei," Akiteru is saying when Sugawara steps out to investigate. He's reaching out for a hug, but Kei pushes himself away and brings both fists to his eyes as he sobs. 

"Kei-chan, I want you to come with me, too, but it's not possible right now – " 

"No!" Kei says, angry now and wiping at his face. "I don't _want_ to go anymore! Go away, nii-chan!"

Akiteru winces. Sugawara thinks sometimes this might be part of why parents simply don't visit their children at the center at all. These brutal goodbyes. They're hard to even watch, Sugawara can't imagine what it feels like.

"Do you remember? What we talked about last time?" Akiteru asks. "The three things I have to do?"

"… Geh -get a job," Kei says.

"Yes, good memory, Kei," Akiteru says, patiently. "That's one. I did that one. What are the other two?"

"Get an apartment," Kei says.

"An apartment with _two_ bedrooms, remember?"

"Ho- how many does your apartment have now?" Kei asks, sniffling a bit, reaching a calm in his tears.

"Just one, Kei," Akiteru says, and Kei sobs again, tipping his head back, louder than ever. But he's done with fighting, and this time when Akiteru reaches for a hug, Kei allows it, and sobs into his shoulder. "I have to save up money to get a bigger apartment, Kei-chan. I'm working every day so I can!"

"I wah-wanna go with you," Kei sobs.

"I know," Akiteru says, quietly.

"I miss mommy." 

"I know."

Their conversation grows quiet again.

If Sugawara had to guess, he'd say that Akiteru will be able to properly adopt his brother and take him home, for good, in the next two years. There are no parents to challenge the claim, and the courts are eager to keep families together, which means he won't run into too many complications, as long as he keeps a steady job the entire time. If he'd been just a little older when the accident happened, it none of this would be necessary, but unfortunately he was only just out of high school.

"My attorney said I can expedite the application," Akiteru tells Sugawara, quietly, trying not to disturb the still sniffling Kei on his shoulder. "But that would cost almost a million yen, and I just – that's impossible. And I want to make sure everything is ready. If they turn it down, I'll have to start all over..."

Kei hiccups slightly, and Akiteru sighs, patting his back, swaying from side to side as though Kei was a much younger child.

Visiting hours are over, and Kei gets weepy again when he's told this, reluctant to let go. He refuses to leave the yard, waving goodbye until Akiteru has made it to the gates, and out of sight. Only then does he allow Sugawara to take his hand and walk him back inside, just in time for baths.

It's a hard night for everyone. 

Kei is practically nodding off while he's still in the tub, exhausted from his own tears. He's asleep the moment he crawls into bed, and about an hour after everyone else has had their bedtime stories and dropped off to sleep, Sugawara hears the muffled tears of a child in the seven to eight year olds room.

It's Ryu, hiding his face in the pillow.

"What's wrong?" Sugawara asks, truly heartbroken at the sight of his bubbly Ryu like this.

"I miss nee-chan," he says, voice wobbly from tears, and – Sugawara should've guessed, after that scene with Kei. 

He runs his hand up and down Ryu's shaking back as he cries. His sister nearly fourteen, just old enough to start volunteering at the shelters herself, but she didn't take advantage of the opportunity, even though it would've meant the two of them got to see each other more often. It's a little frustrating, but Sugawara reminds himself that she is a child, too. An older one, but with a bit more on her shoulders than her brother, and with her own demons to fight, and now with a busy high schooler's schedule. She'll visit during weekends, and it always makes Ryu happy entire days afterward. 

He eventually cries himself back to sleep, and Sugawara has an hour or so of quiet, then Tadashi wakes up, crying quietly from a nightmare, and wet sheets. 

"Shh," Sugawara soothes, as softly as he can, knowing the tears are partly from embarrassment, which will grow tenfold if Kei wakes up while Sugawara is pulling off the sheets. Once they're in the hallway and the sheets are with the rest of the dirty laundry, he's able to comfort Tadashi's shaking tears properly, patting his back, rocking side to side.

If he had to pick, Sugawara would take the early morning shift rather than this late night one. He knows starting Tobio's day with him always set him up for more successes, and more happy afternoons, compared to putting him to bed. But on nights like this, as he helps Tadashi into clean pajamas, he's glad he's the one there, just to make sure it's handled properly. 

He informs the morning staffer, Hanamaki, about Tadashi's accident, and says giving him a big boy task in the morning might help his confidence.

It's almost five in the morning now, and some of the youngest are starting to wake up, sitting up in their cribs with absolutely no regard for anyone else's schedule. Otherwise the rooms are silent, and Sugawara knows he should keep it that way as he leaves. 

Still.

He can't resist popping in, taking one more glance at sleeping Tobio, smoothing down his hair softly, wishing it wasn't a choice between seeing him in the mornings or afternoons. But obviously, he can't live his entire life in the center. 

His thoughts are heavy and concerned on the bus ride home. It feels like a lot went on under his nose today, things he could've prevented, but he's not sure how. It creates a vague sense of unease.

"Are you an artist?"

He's quite deep in his own dark, guilty thoughts, and it's a bizarre question, asked from a stranger. It takes Sugawara a moment to blink his head clear.

"Huh?"

"Your apron."

Sugawara looks down at himself and actually jumps when he realizes he forgot to take it off. He tugs it over his head immediately, flushing in embarrassment. 

"Ah, no," he laughs. "I work at a children's center."

"Oh!" says the man.

Sugawara takes another look at him. His first thought is that he looks kind. His eyes are big, soft and brown, and his smile is warm. His second thought is that he's actually – incredibly good looking. Sugawara clears his throat.

"I imagine that can get messy," the man says.

"Just a bit," Sugawara says. They smile at one another. He waits, but the man doesn't say anything else, and just when Sugawara gets up the gumption to introduce himself, it's the man's stop. He gets up, and gives Sugawara a nod.

"Good luck with your kids tomorrow," says the man, smiling again, and leaves.

Sugawara blinks, and – honestly feels like that might help.


	2. Chapter Two

Today, the new boy is arriving at the center.

And today, Tobio is in _a mood._

Sugawara can hear it before even making to the porch, a distant, piercing, high-pitched screech, the noise Sugawara always thinks of now when he hears the word _banshee_. 

"Suga-san," gasps one of the staff members when Sugawara walks through the door. "Thank god."

"In the back?" Sugawara asks, and they nod, pointing.

"With Tooru-kun."

Sugawara follows the sound, down the hall, past the two playrooms, to the calm down room. It's a quiet, small space with soft lights, lots of pillows, a few toys, and where they send the boys who are having tantrums. He's heard a few staffers refer to it as "Tobio's room."

Tobio is there, of course, on the floor, on his back, slamming his heels into the wall, screaming at the top of his lungs.

It used to be that staffers would simply close Tobio in the calm down room until he screamed himself asleep, or Sugawara's shift started, whichever came first. 

Now, Tooru is here. 

He's kneeling down beside Tobio, shouting to be heard, hands in fists at his side, "If you don't _calm down_! You'll miss snack time - and the movie – "

This is only making Tobio scream louder, slamming his feet harder. He has to realize this, but Tooru is possibly the most stubborn person Sugawara has ever met – he takes pride in being able to handle the children, will sometimes brag about how they trust him, how he can calm them down, which they do, and he can, but the furious, screeching whirlwind Tobio becomes is a bit much for any fourteen year old. 

Sugawara sees Tooru's face twist in frustration, mouth opening on what he's sure is going to be something cruel, and Sugawara coughs, loudly.

Tooru rocks back, falling onto his rear, staring up at Sugawara with surprised eyes, then scowls. "Kentaro and Tobio had a fight," he shouts, but Sugawara waves his hand. 

"Later!" Sugawara shouts. "Give us a minute?"

Tooru mutters something that Sugawara can't hear over Tobio's screeching, before standing up. " _Fine,_ " he says.

He leaves the room, slamming the door shut behind him. 

Sugawara leans against it, sighing a little as he looks around the room, at the mess Tobio's tantrum has made. Pillows have been yanked from the child-sized couch, paintings ripped in two, crayons scattered across the floor. It looks like he got into the reward buttons as well, the bucket overturned and piles of them spilling out.

The truth is, Sugawara can't calm Tobio down either. 

Literally nothing will calm Tobio down when he gets like this, except perhaps Tobio himself, but he's nowhere near that level of self control yet. 

The only thing Sugawara does any differently than anyone else is stay patient until Tobio gets too tired to keep it up. 

"Tobio," he sighs.

Tobio just keeps screeching, kicking. Sugawara settles down beside him, crossing his legs.

"What's wrong, Tobio?"

Sugawara can hardly hear himself speak. Tobio's face is deep red, and Sugawara's ears ring in the short breaks Tobio takes to gasp for air. It disrupts the entire center when Tobio gets like this, but the tears on Tobio's face reminds him that there's no one it distresses more than Tobio himself. 

Tobio just isn't made for this kind of life – Sugawara is sure he'd be calmer, happier, with a family. But that thought feels stupid as soon as he thinks it. Of course he would. All of the kids would, all of the kids suffer from being denied the loving attention of guardians. Most of them just handle it in a quieter way. 

The silence between screams grows longer and longer, and eventually, Tobio tires himself out enough that he's just hiccuping on the floor, crying softly.

Sugawara pets his hair, silently, until the tears slow down, too. "Feeling better?" 

Sugawara has to resist the urge to lift Tobio up into his arms, to spend the rest of the day making sure he's actually calmed. He can't. There are twenty-two other kids that needs his attention, and a brand new boy who will need to be welcomed into the center. And, if the rest of the staff saw Sugawara _"pampering"_ Tobio after a scene like that, there would be a revolt. 

"Alright," he says, standing up. "Come on." 

Tobio lifts his head, looking at Sugawara's outstretched hand, his little chest heaving in and out. 

For a second Sugawara thinks this is going to set off a second tantrum – it's happened before, in a shocking display of stamina – but finally Tobio reaches up, takes his hand, and slowly gets to his feet. Sugawara walks him into the bedroom, helps him into his pajamas. 

It's only after he finishes buttoning his night shirt that Tobio asks the quiet, shaky question. "Are you mad at me?"

"No," Sugawara says. "But you understand that was unacceptable, don't you Tobio?"

Tobio nods, sniffing, rubbing at his eye.

Sugawara licks his lips, and knows what he's supposed to say, even while knowing it's useless with Tobio just now. But, it's the rules of the center, "What will you do next time you get that upset?"

Tobio just looks at him. Of course Tobio doesn't know. 

"You should come to one of us, alright?" Sugawara says. "And we'll help you."

"Okay," Tobio says. 

Sugawara hoists Tobio up, then into bed. Tobio will miss both snack time and dinner, but this isn't really a punishment, though the staff might read it that way. As a baby Tobio could never keep food down after a screaming fit like that, and as he gets older he tends not to be interested in eating for hours afterward. He'll just have a big breakfast tomorrow. Sugawara will have to put in a note with the morning staff. Maybe – maybe he could sneak him a snack in the morning, before he leaves... 

"I'm sorry," Tobio says, sounding incredibly sad, like he's near tears again. 

"Why?"

"I'm sorry – cause – I was bad," Tobio says. "If I wasn't bad I could play with you today."

Sugawara smiles, holding Tobio's hand, shaking it playfully. "We can play tomorrow. All I want is for you to sleep well and feel better."

Tobio nods, but still looks close to tears. Sugawara tucks him in, then blows raspberry on Tobio's forehead.

He giggles once, a breathless, snorting noise, then pushes Sugawara away. 

"Good night Suga-san," Tobio says, still sounding a little weepy as Sugawara closes the door. 

"How is the little demon doing?" Tooru mutters when Sugawara walks into the kitchen. 

He has a small, child mouth-sized bite on his hand. Sugawara grabs his wrist without thinking about it, and Tooru stops making riceballs so Sugawara can turn his hand over, wincing.

"Ouch," Sugawara says. 

"No kidding!" Tooru says, but is obviously pleased with the sympathy, making a show of pouting, rubbing the bite. It didn't break skin, but there will definitely be a bruise.

"Well, Tobio's in bed now," he says. "What happened? Kentaro and Tobio?" 

"The two of them were in line for the slide, and there was a fight about going down first," Tooru says, irritated at the memory. "Kentaro won, then waited at the bottom and knocked Tobio over when he came down, and Tobio lost his fuhh- his mind."

Normally both Kentaro and Tobio are more interested in playing independently. They don't interact often, but when it does happen, they crack heads like a pair of baby rams.

"We should probably start keeping to two of them apart," Sugawara sighs. "How is Kentaro? You talked to him already?"

"Yeah, Hanamaki did," Tooru says. "Time out. He's fine. More excited about the new kid coming in – oh. They figured out the beds, by the way."

"Hm?"

"The beds," Tooru says. "They're going to move Yuutarou-chan and Kei-chan to the seven and eight year old room. It's almost Yuutarou's birthday anyway, so."

Sugawara pauses, immediately disliking this solution. "I don't think we should separate Kei and Tadashi if we can help it."

"Kei-chan is the second oldest six year old," Tooru shrugs. But it's not Tooru's choice and probably not Tooru's idea, so Sugawara lets it go. 

When he sees the other staffers, who are in a flurry of movement trying to get things ready for the new boy, Sugawara suggest moving Akira, instead – Akira-chan is close with Yuutarou, and Hajime, and would probably be way more comfortable with the move. 

"But we already had Kei-chan empty his drawer," the staffer moans.

"Well. I'll help him put it back," Sugawara says, annoyed at the laziness.

"Fine, okay – Tobio-chan is in bed, right?" they ask, and sigh in relief when Sugawara nods. They usually put some of the more tempermental kids in another room to play whenever there's new children coming in, and it's just one more thing they won't have to keep an eye on. 

Today, snacks will be passed out while the boys are in the TV room for games and a movie, which will give Sugawara an extra hour to show Hinata Shoyo around and help him settle in. 

Sugawara finishes helping prepare the bento boxes, then goes to find Kei and Akira.

Kei is makes a bit of a production about being sent back to the _little boy's_ room, but Sugawara is fairly sure this is for show. In either case, Akira lights up when Sugawara asks if he'd like to move along with Yuuarou, nodding with a sweet, happy smile. 

Switching the drawers is an event. Both Kei and Akira are very particular children, wanting their belongings to be just-so, and they pack slowly and carefully, even though the trip is literally just across the hall. Sugawara is lucky that they both tend to be quiet, as well, and are so focused on their task that neither of them disturb Tobio through the process.

They're properly switched and back in the TV room with less than ten minutes for Sugawara to review Shoyo's case file.

Thankfully, it's thin. Often times Sugawara will be provided a thick, depressing history of hospital stays and court rulings. This just has the boy's name, parents names, and birthdate. No history of abuse, and his parents passed away when he was six months old. His only memories will be a stable life with his uncle. 

Sugawara worries about this as he waits in the front yard for Shoyo's arrival. The boy won't have any experience living away from home, and six is a rough age for this in general – the temporary stays with the police, the traumatic removal from their home. Old enough to understand what and why, but too young to have any influence or say. Most boys that arrive at the shelter around this age deeply shaken, timid, and take a while to warm up to anyone. Sugawara is prepared for this boy to be confused, and scared, and cranky. 

He blinks when he hears singing, instead.

"Hel- _lo_! Hel- _lo_!" the little boy chants, and Sugawara make out the top of his bright little head as he bounces in place while Nishinoya Yu opens the gate. "I am Shoyo! Hi-na-ta Shoyo!"

Sugawara smiles wide when he sees the boy for the first time, holding Yu's hand and swinging it back and forth. He's a bouncy and charming thing, hair fluffy and wild. He sings his little song again as they walk down the path, and Sugawara bends down to greet him.

"Hi, Shoyo-chan!" he says. "I'm Sugawara. Everyone calls me Suga-san."

"Hi, Suga-san!!" he bows.

Good lord, he's a little spot of sunshine. Shoyo nearly skips up the steps to the center, and Sugawara gives Yu an impressed look. 

"You certainly kept his spirits up."

"That's all him," Yu says, then, very seriously, hands on his hips - "Shoyo-chan is a very brave boy!"

Shoyo pauses, and smiles hugely. "Really??"

"Absolutely," Sugawara says. "Most of the new boys who come to the center are a little nervous at first."

"Last summer," Shoyo says, excited to share. "I went to day camp!"

"Ooh," Sugawara says. "Yes, this is a little like that." He turns to Yu, "Thanks for picking him up." 

"Not a problem!" Yu salutes – he's fifteen, another teenage volunteer for the centers, and not scheduled until tomorrow, but the center was short staffed. "Oh, here."

Yu hands off the bag he'd had over his shoulder, which Sugawara had assumed was his own backpack. It's an additional bag of Shoyo's belongings, and Sugawara frowns at the sight. Unfortunately, most of this will have to go into storage. Because Shoyo's stay will likely be a short one, he will probably get it back, but it's impossible for the center to allow the boys to keep their own toys, separate from the group – keeping track of that for twenty to thirty boys would be a nightmare, and they would likely be taken or broken by one of the other boys within days regardless.

He holds it behind his back, hoping to keep it out of Shoyo's eyeline, quickly dropping it off at the reception desk as he walks by with Shoyo in hand. 

Sugawara's first impression of the boy is that he is curious and adventurous, ready to explore, immediately hurrying to the edge of Sugawara's reach when they enter the heart of the center, excited by the posters and colorful designs along the walls. He doesn't tug, or try to get away, just – unbearably eager to see as much as he can.

"What's this room??"

"That's the dining room. We'll be having dinner in here soon."

"Aah!" Shoyo says, excited, jumping from foot to foot as they keep moving. "What's this room??"

"This is one of the playrooms."

"Just for playing?!" Shoyo says, and starts barreling in so quickly Sugawara has to tug him back. 

"Not yet, Shoyo-chan," Sugawara laughs. "Right now we're going to put your stuff away."

"Suga-san!" Shoyo says. "Asahi-san said that – there's a big room – and everyone sleeps there!!" 

"Asahi-san was right, all the boys your age sleep in the same room," Sugawara nods. He freezes. Shoyo is clearly not as quiet as Kei and Akira.

"Can I see??" Shoyo asks, hopefully. Sugawara's soul squirms. He's being such a good boy… it's really not that much to ask...

Sugawara bends down. "Right now there's a boy in there sleeping. He had a really hard day. So anyone who goes inside is going to have to be _very quiet._ Can you be very quiet, Shoyo-chan?"

Shoyo inhales sharply, nodding. 

"Okay," Sugawara says. He stands, and puts his fingers to his mouth one last time, then slowly opens the door.

Tobio is still asleep. 

Shoyo stares curiously as they walk past his bed, and Sugawara gives him another reminder, finger to his lips. Shoyo mimics it back, " _shhh!_ "

Sugawara shows Shoyo which drawer will be his, and helps him take off his backpack. He lets Shoyo take the lead in unpacking, but he doesn't seem to be as particular as Akira or Kei, losing interest after he dumps everything out onto the floor around them. Sugawara finishes for him, and is just sliding the drawer shut when he glances down and sees Shoyo is no longer at his side.

"What's his name?"

Sugawara blinks, looking up, and sees Shoyo has wandered to the side of Tobio's bed, peering close at Tobio's face.

" _Shoyo,_ " Sugawara hisses, climbing to his feet, hurrying Shoyo out of the room.

"But I was whispering!" Shoyo says, looking distressed.

"I know, it's - fine," Sugawara says, holding the door shut behind him. "His name is Tobio."

"Tobio," Shoyo repeats, immediately upbeat again. "Okay!"

Sugawara takes Shoyo to the rest of the rooms, explaining the rules – taking turns on the swings and in the sandbox, the buttons for good behavior and the calm down room. 

"Okay!" Shoyo agrees, quickly and happily, to everything that's said, and it doesn't take Sugawara long to figure out that the boy is not listening at all. It's fine, he's not expecting Shoyo to remember any of this, but it is a cute thing, how agreeable he is.

He's an instant hit with everyone – the other children, and especially the staffers.

Shoyo is a very cute child, he has the kind of face that could be used to sell toys and breakfast cereals, but there's more to it than that. The children they typically see are sad, and introverted, and hurting very deeply. It's a haunting, draining thing to see children so damaged, and the way Shoyo bounces into the space, whole, healthy and energetic, has an invigorating effect on everyone.

He's too shy to volunteer to be a big boy helper at dinner, suddenly bashful when everyone else raises their hands, but is all upbeat energy again when it's time to take a bath, squirming too much on the stool for anyone to wash his hair.

"Shoyo-chan," Tooru says, leaning down to whisper. "Can I tell you a secret?"

Shoyo's eyes light up. _Yes_ , Tooru clearly can.

"I have a secret power," Tooru says. He lifts up his finger and moves it back and forth in front of Shoyo's face, slowly, and Shoyo tracks the movement with his eyes, excited. "To turn squirmy little children…" he lifts his finger high in to the air. "Into statues." 

The washroom has fallen silent, all the boys watching as Tooru brings down his hand and taps Shoyo's nose.

Shoyo does a poor job of pretending to be a statue, scrunching up in place, hunching up his shoulders, but he's clearly delighted to do it, and stays still long enough for Sugawara to lather and rinse his hair.

"Can I be a statue??" asks Yuutarou, bouncing in place at Tooru's side. 

"Tooru-san make me a statue!!" 

Tooru bops each of them on the nose, and they are the worst, giggly, excited little statues Sugawara has ever seen. 

"Does Hajime-san want to be a statue?" Tooru asks the boy who is already in the bath. He blushes a bit and sinks down to his nose, shaking his head sharply. "Aww," Tooru pouts. 

The high energy Shoyo brought with him follows everyone to bed, and there's no way to avoid waking Tobio up in all the loudness. He sits up in bed with narrowed, sleep heavy eyes, blinking around the room in confusion. As the rest of the boys climb into bed, Sugawara takes the chance lift him up into his arms, rubbing his back.

"Are you hungry?" he asks, but Tobio shakes his head no, pressing his face into Sugawara's neck and clearly wishing to fall back asleep, which he does the moment he lays back down in bed.

With any big change there's usually a bit of turbulence at night, and Sugawara is waiting for this – Akira and Yuutarou, at least, and he keeps an eye on Shoyo, of course, but it's a quiet, easy night, until until the babies wake each other up around three in the morning.

One needs a change and the other needs company, both are easy enough to take care of, but it distracts him enough at the end of his shift that he forgets to mention Tobio's breakfast, only remembering when he's halfway home. 

He tells himself that it's fine. They'll feed Tobio, obviously. They feed him every morning. 

He crawls into bed saying this to himself, then ten minutes later crawls back out, grabs his phone and calls the center.

~

When working the overnight shift, Sugawara tries to get all of his shopping done before work. This means no laying around in bed when his alarm goes off, forcing himself up and to the washroom before he can think twice about it. 

He steps out of his apartment building to find it raining, though, and groans. If he had thought twice about it, he would've just waited until tomorrow. But now he's dressed and ready, and might as well.

He hurries to the stop and barely makes the train, stepping on while, shaking the rain off of his coat and repeating his grocery list in his head.

"Daichi – "

Sugawara looks over. It's the man, from a few days ago. The version he saw the first time the fresh, early morning version, this is the just finished a very shitty day at work one. Sugawara grins, and wonders if that's what this man, Daichi? had been thinking about him last time. 

"Sawamaru Daichi," he says, then looks a little sheepish. "Ah, last time I realized we hadn't introduced ourselves."

"Sugawara Koushi." Sugawara says, feeling his cheeks dimpling with his grin. "I was thinking the same thing. I'm glad we caught each other."

"How were your kids?"

"Ohh," Sugawara says, thinking back on the previous day. "Excitable. Looks like you had a bit of a work out."

"Yeah," Daichi says. "I'm a coach, so."

"A coach?" Sugawara repeats, a little startled. 

"Mmhm, junior high school. Volleyball," he says. 

"Ha," Sugawara says. " _That_ sounds like it can get messy."

"It's a rough age," Daichi agrees. 

Sugawara sees his stop approaching and wants to pout, a bit, wants to delay this, somehow. He spends so much time with children, it's been a while since he's clicked and had a conversation with one – but as he thinks that he realizes he must be incredibly desperate. This hardly qualifies as anything. 

"This is my stop," Sugawara says, and takes some comfort in the fact that Daichi looks just as startled and disappointed by it. At least they're being irrational together. "Good luck with your students tomorrow, Daichi."

"Thank you." 

When he steps outside, he sees the rain has let up. He finds himself looking back over his shoulder to share a happy grin with Daichi, who was watching from the window.

Sugawara flashes a quick peace sign, and walks into the market. 

~

He regrets the peace sign. 

It's something Tooru would do, and that's fine because Tooru is a teenager. Sugawara is an adult, and that's not how adults flirt. It was impulsive and out of character. Daichi works with junior high students, apparently, and probably rolled his eyes at the immaturity. 

It's because he knows Daichi's name, now. That's why he's thinking about this. He had forgotten the man almost the second they had parted ways before, though the positive warmth from their interaction had lingered.

But now he knows specifics, and Daich is a real person, and Sugawara likes to leave a good impression with anyone, but _especially_ with handsome, brown eyed coaches that impulsively introduce themselves on the bus. 

He's still bemoaning this as he walks up the path to the center – no screeching today – goes to the back and pulls on his apron. 

"Is Noya-san coming today?!"

Ryu is shouting this from the edge of the hall.

"He should be here any minute!" Sugawara shouts back. Yu should already be there, actually, should already be in the kitchen working, but tardiness is hardly unusual when it comes to the volunteers, with Tooru as a pointed exception. Today, he's not going to come in until the late afternoon.

Ryu is sitting by the window by the time Sugawara heads into the kitchen.

" _Noya-san!!_ "

Ryu is so excited he's basically trembling in place. When Yu finally walks through the door Ryu goes for what appears to be a full body tackle, wrapping both arms around his middle.

"Ryu!!" Yu laughs, getting a better grip and spinning him in a circle. 

Sugawara watches, hand on his hip, waiting.

 _If it was Tooru_ volunteering in the early afternoon, he could get a report on how Shoyo has settled in so far, and snacks would already be halfway completed. Sugawara tries to be annoyed about this, about how Yu has yet to make it two steps even into the center, apparently content with just rubbing the top of Ryu's head and asking how his day went, but can't quite manage it.

Still, there's work to be done.

"Yu-kun," he says, flatly. 

Yu freezes, and pats Ryu on the head one last time. "Later, Ryu-chan!"

Yu is fast in the kitchen, but not exactly careful. He's cut his fingers more times than Sugawara can count, so today he tells him to simply spread the peanut butter on the crackers while he slices the bananas. 

During snack time it's clear that Shoyo has more than settled in. A stranger would be hard pressed to pick out the boy who only came in yesterday, Shoyo is talking easily with his neighbors, and is confident enough this time raising his hand when Yu asks for volunteers. 

As punishment for being late, Sugawara has Noya prepare dinner alone, which he moans about, but Sugawara would like a chance to observe Shoyo with the rest of the kids.

"Oh, he's a sweetheart," the staffer says when Sugawara asks. "Haven't seen him fuss or pout once, and he's friends with just about everyone."

"That's fantastic," he says, and means it. "Where is he?"

"Out in the yard," they say, pointing over their shoulder. It's bad weather for it, the sky is overcast and dark, but summer will be over soon and they want to let the kids have as much time in the outdoors as possible. 

Kei, Tadashi and Tobio are sitting the sandbox, and the unusual sight interrupts Sugawara's search. 

"It _smashes_ into the city," Kei is narrating his play – driving a toy truck across the top of the sandbox. "It goes like –" 

The truck _plows_ into the little dirt pile Tobio is making.

" _Aaah!_ " Kei says, mimicking, presumably, the city people and victims inside Tobio's city. " _Oh no!_ " 

Tobio grins, and starts building more piles for Kei to plow his truck into. 

"The monster truck wants more blood!" Kei says ramming it over the pile until it's completely flattened, and Tobio laughs.

Sugawara chews his thumbnail, watching.

It's times like these the gap in Tobio's verbal development is impossible to ignore. Kei is advanced, though. Kei is incredibly smart, can tell coherent stories, and jokes, and relay information, and with his height, has been mistaken more than once for an eight year old by the staff. 

Tadashi is probably a more average benchmark, but even he hinges on Kei's every word, engaged, bright-eyed and excited, interjecting when he can. 

"Yeah! There's another truck, Kei-chan!" he rams it, gently, into the side of Kei's truck, and laughs.

" _No._ They're friends, Tadashi-chan," Kei scoffs, directing their game easily.

"Oh!" Tadashi says, then puts on a higher voice, pretending to be the truck, " _Sorry, friend!_ "

Tobio continues making sand piles. 

Kei climbs up to his feet, deciding to take the game out of the sandbox, and Tadashi quickly follows, truck still in his hand.

Tobio lifts his head, staring after them. 

Tobio still wants to play, clearly, but he doesn't have the words, didn't keep up with the change in direction, and has been completely left behind.

When Tobio was a baby, he crawled and walked incredibly early. He was notorious for climbing out of the cribs at night, only to be discovered in the morning playing with toys he sneaked out of the toy box, when other infants his age were still working on sitting upright. Sugawara had been sure they were dealing with a genius.

But when it came time to socialize, Tobio's development never really took root. He said his first word when the rest of the children were already singing simple songs, and was so reluctant to talk that Sugawara started to secretly bribe him with little bits of chocolate candies, one for each word he said. 

Growing up in a center like this is a difficult thing. There's not just the social disadvantages, but the stigma. They won't be given the same chances and opportunities as children in traditional families, so children like Tobio will need to be especially outgoing in order to thrive. They need to be able to know exactly what they want, find out how to get it, and keep trying after failure. 

Sugawara knows this is in Tobio, he _knows_ it, but for some reason Tobio has no interest in sharing it.

"What's up?" Yu asks around a large bite of an apple, sliding the door shut behind him with his foot. 

"I don't think," Sugawara knows how to phrase it, but he doesn't like it. "Tobio is keeping up."

"Eh," Yu says, peering at Tobio, sitting alone in the sandbox. "At least he's not fighting with anyone."

Sugawara hates that that, apparently, is the best that anyone hopes for. "Is dinner done?" he asks.

" _Yeah_ , Suga-san! I wouldn't be out here if it wasn't!" Yu scoffs.

"You boiled the ramen?"

"Yes."

"You put the pork in the slow cooker?"

Yu thinks about that, turns around, and walks back inside.

Sugawara hides a smile in his hand, turning his attention back to Tobio, who - is no longer alone in the sandbox.

"No!"

Sugawara grips the railing, dread in his stomach. Tobio is on his hands and knees in the sandbox, kicking out one foot, pushing it against Shoyo's chest.

" _Go away!_ "

"No!" Shoyo shouts back. " _You_ have to share!"

"No!!" 

"Why not?!"

"I was here first!"

"Yeah, but I'm here _now_!! I'm gonna play!" 

Shoyo climbs over Tobio's leg, into the sandbox. Tobio gasps in wide eyed affront.

"I don't want to play with you!" Gritting his teeth, Tobio starts pushing at sand in between them, until a pile starts to form, slowly growing taller.

On the other side, Shoyo starts to help.

"No! It's my wall!!" Tobio says, slapping his hands against the sand, trying to be a good boy and not hit Shoyo, but so frustrated that he has to hit _something_. "Stop it!!!"

"I want to do it too," Shoyo says. "It's fun."

Tobio scowls. He starts piling on more sand, faster. 

"My side is gonna be taller," Shoyo says, sticking out his tongue.

Tobio stiffens.

Sugawara braces himself – 

" _No!_ " Tobio says. "Mine is gonna be taller! Taller than you! Or anyone!"

And then apparently tries to do just that.

It takes Sugawara a moment to really understand the full implications – this is both a fight, and a game. Only instead of the game Kei was playing that sailed hopelessly over Tobio's head - Tobio is actually _competing_ with Shoyo, and it matters so much to him his face is turning pink as he does it, huffing as he adds balled up clumps up sand to the pile.

Tobio is playing with someone, _really_ playing with someone.

"You're not going to break it up?" asks one of the staff members, who is only seeing a fight.

"I want to see if they can resolve it themselves," Sugawara says. It's only a little bit of a lie.

It's a total lie. His heart is swelling at the sight and he wants it to last as long as possible. The storm clouds are rumbling dangerously, threatening rain, and Sugawara should listen, but – Tobio is playing with someone.

"My side is gonna be taller than Tokyo Tower!" Shoyo shouts, standing up and dumping an anticlimactic sprinkle onto the pile. 

Tobio leans back again and starts using his feet to dig up sand, kicking it onto the pile. "My side is gonna – gonna be taller than Tokyo Tower _and_ Godzilla!!" 

They're worked up and excited, and Sugawara is not remotely surprised when a random kick from Tobio goes too high, and sand sprays in a clumpy, unpleasant mess directly into Shoyo's face.

Shoyo's eyes go round in surprise, and he drops onto his rear and looks around the yard before locking eyes with Sugawara and the staff member. And then he starts sobbing.

"It's alright," Sugawara says, hurrying down the steps. "It's okay."

Tobio is staring, frozen, clearly worried. "I didn't – mean to – "

"I know, it was accident," Sugawara says, picking Hinata up and helping him brush off the dirt in his eyes and mouth, but Shoyo has started to spit, and he ends up wiping the drooly mess all over his face. 

"Wait a second, Shoyo-chan, wait til we get to the bathroom, alright?"

"Accidents like that happen when you're not being considerate of others, Tobio-chanm" the staffer reprimands, but is looking at Sugawara with a hard, pointed stare.

Tobio looks from the staff member to Sugawara, eyes growing wet, looking for help.

Sugawara swallows. "You were playing pretty rough, Tobio-chan." 

Thunder rolls over Sugawara's head, and he feels like this cements his decision. He holds out his free hand for Tobio. 

"Come on. Just a minute or two in the calm down room, alright?"

Tobio deflates completely, and Sugawara is worried that he's done what he's seen countless staff members do, prod and push Tobio until he actually does have a tantrum – but he just climbs up to his feet, taking Sugawara's hand and accepting his punishment.


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No Daichi in this one, but he should be a big player in the next one, along with Tadashi! :3

Tobio is considering a tantrum. 

Sugawara can feel it in the stiffness of Tobio's legs, locking up as they get closer to the calm down room, like he's about to plant his feet and try to tug free from Sugawara's hand. 

" _Tobio_ ," Sugawara says, his voice a firm warning – he's balancing Shoyo on his hip with his other arm, and with his squirming it's not the sturdiest grip. He won't be able to restrain Tobio if he decides to go off.

"I don't _want_ to!!" Tobio cries, angry and miserable.

Sugawara bites his lip, glancing toward the rest of the center – it seems like business as usual. Sugawara could pass Shoyo off to another staffer… take a moment with Tobio in the calm down room. The spell Shoyo cast still seems to be working, this is the best verbalization he's ever seen from Tobio while upset, and it would be the ideal time to talk with him about what he's feeling, and what to do about it – 

" _Suga-san_!!" 

Yu pokes his head out the kitchen door, looking around frantically before his eyes lock on Sugawara, horrified. It's probably the worst thing to see thirty minutes before dinner. 

"I burned the pork!" Yu shouts.

Sugawara groans low in his throat, while Shoyo, impatient by now, wipes his spitty, dirt covered chin on Sugawara's shoulder.

"Okay – just be a good boy, alright?" Sugawara says, giving Tobio a gentle push into the calm down room.

" _Yeah!_ " Shoyo says, sticking out his tongue, and Sugawara scolds him, and closing the door on Tobio's especially sour face. 

He sets Shoyo down in the bathroom, setting up the stool and turning on the sink for him to wash his face, tells one of the staffers where Shoyo is as he runs into the kitchen to see the damage. 

Part of him is more curious than anything else. It takes hours to actually burn something in a crock pot, so whatever Yu did, Sugawara assumes the pork is probably salvageable – until the smell of burnt meat hits him, and he sees the billowing smoke coming from the stove. 

"Open the windows," Sugawara tells Yu, diving for a towel, praying they'll beat the fire alarm. Lining up the kids outside in this rain would be an absolute nightmare. He wraps his hands in the towel, grabbing the pot by its sides, carrying it to the window. He sets it on the sill, scorch marks be damned, takes off the lid and coughs wildly at the thick black smoke it releases into the air, waving it outside. 

Grimacing down at the massive chunk of pork he bought earlier this week, enough to feed a family of thirty. It's a shriveled, blackened, inedible chunk. He closes his eyes. 

"Yu-kun," he says. "I said crock pot." 

"Yeah," Yu nods, oblivious, still fanning the smoke out with his apron.

"This is a pot. Just. A regular pot," Sugawara says.

"Oh."

"The crock pot is above the ice box," Sugawara says. 

"Shit – _sorry!_ " Yu says, and looks genuinely distressed about it, bowing low.

Sugawara sighs again, trying to think. 

"We have left over roast from yesterday," he says. "We can cut up some vegetables and make a soup – "

There's a mighty crack of thunder, the timing is so sudden and perfect it would be comical, if it wasn't for the force of it, enough to rattle the windows.

And the fact that, beat later, the power cuts.

"… Are you kidding me," Sugawara says, into the dim, late afternoon light. 

The circuit breaker is in the kitchen, and does nothing when Sugawara attempts to reset it. 

"Yeah, the power's out all down the street," Yu says, hoisting himself up onto the counter to look out the window. All the streetlights, which had just started to flicker on, have died.

Three things occur to Sugawara in quick succession.

One, there's about twenty minutes left until sunset. They need to grab all the flashlights, lanterns and candles they can.

Two, they have cheese and cold cuts for sandwiches.

Three, and most vividly, a memory from years ago, of checking up on the babies during a midnight storm, expecting to find Tobio scared and crying in his crib. Instead Tobio was on his feet, bouncing, up and down, slapping the window in his excitement, watching the rain pour down. Thunder cracked, and Tobio slowed, mouth open in amazement. He looked up at Sugawara with wide eyes, as if checking to see if he heard it, too, then started jumping again. 

Tobio is not scared of storms, and remembering this, for some reason, eases some of the stress from Sugawara's shoulders. 

Sugawara grabs the flashlights from an upper cabinet, tells Yu to start making sandwiches, and heads back out into the center. 

"Everyone to the first playroom," Sugawara says to the first staffer he sees. The TV room is bigger, but doesn't have any windows, and will be the darkest place in the center by the time the sun sets. 

It's still light enough to see, but dark enough to be spooky, especially with the building noise from the storm, and the children are all shouting loudly in horrified delight, or crying in the genuine fear. 

"Okay, okay - everyone hold on to me," Sugawara says, wadding his way through the halls, a group of terrified children clinging to his shirt and pant legs. "Here we go, to the playroom."

Hajime and Shinji makes eighteen kids already there… Akira, Tadashi, Kogane and Tsutomu are all clinging to Sugawara's shirt… so where's twenty-three?

"I've got Shoyo!" calls a staffer from the bathroom. 

"We're in the first playroom!" Sugawara calls back, putting his hand on the back of one of the boy's head, who is currently trying to hide his face in Sugawara's thigh, shivering in fear. It's Tadashi. 

"I'm not scared!" Tsutomu announces loudly, tugging on Sugawara's shirt on his other side to make sure he knows. 

"Really? Ah, you're very brave Tsu-chan!" Sugawara says, "Can you keep being brave and help hold one of the flashlights?"

Tsutomu's eyes go wide, and he practically shakes from excitement, taking it in both hands. "Yes, Suga-san!!" 

They start clearing out some space in the playroom, pushing the toys and indoor playground equipment into the corners, and by the time they've finished, it's dark enough that Sugawara really does need Tsutomu's beam to help guide them, even in addition to the lanterns they have on the floor.

"Is it good?? Did I do a good job?" Tsutomu asks.

"Mmhm, you're a very good helper Tsu-chan!" Sugawara says, and looks over the rest of the boys. The other staffers have them split into groups, playing games like rock, paper scissors and singing songs, but the storm has gotten worse, and Sugawara is actually starting to doubt the plan to have them near the windows. There is more light, but the rain is pelting against the glass in heavy, intimidating waves, and each, bright flash of lightning streaks across the room, some of the boys wailing softly in distress before the thunder follows.

Sugawara looks over the group, picking out the most frightened children – Akira and Tadashi both look close to tears, and Kentaro has his arms wrapped tight around his legs, hiding his face in his knees. 

"Ken-chan, could you help with one of the flashlights, too?" Sugawara asks, handing it off. Kentaro blinks, then nods, very solemnly, holding it straight and steady. "Nice, good job!"

Akira takes the flashlight when Sugawara offers it to him, but doesn't seem all that excited, and when he asks if Tadashi wants to hold one as well, he shakes his head no, and pushes it toward Kei, instead. 

"Are you sure, Tadashi-chan?" Sugawara asks, coaxing lightly. Tadashi nods, eyes still glistening, then squeezing shut tight at bright, blinding flash of lightning.

Sugawara holds his breath, waiting for the outcry of anxious fear at what will surely be an explosive roll of thunder - 

"Is anyone hungry for… " Yu jumps into the room, holding two large trays. " _Sandwiches?!_ "

The children's enthusiastic response is actually enough to mask the thunder - excited by his high energy, distracted as he passes out the rather sad, sloppily constructed dinner. Sugawara smiles ruefully. He likes working with kids, and he knows he's good at it, but he does not possess this overwhelming confidence that the children respond to so eagerly – he's not all that great at changing the energy of the room like Yu just did, or Tooru can. 

Yu is irresponsible, not especially patient when the boys get bratty, and a little flaky. But this is definitely where his strengths lie, he has no problems playing the bombastic distraction, poking and playing with the kids as the ultimate big brother.

He's currently pretending to be a waiter, dipping low at the waist as he presents the tray to each child, asking if in a very formal voice if they prefer spam, or turkey sandwich, and Akira looks more comforted by his spam sandwich than the flashlight he's set on the floor.

"Sho-chan," Sugawara says, when he sees Shoyo shove as much of his sandwich as he can fit into his mouth with one hand, and reaching for a second. "Wait until everyone eats before getting seconds, alright?" 

Shoyo smiles, and says okay, spraying bits of sandwich out of his mouth.

Sugawara turns around for a moment to put the arm back on Yuutaro's toy soldier, and when he looks back, Shoyo is sneaking around Yu's side to get his hand on the sandwich tray again.

" _Shoyo_ ," Sugawara says. "What did I say?"

"… Don't take two sandwiches," Shoyo mumbles, sadly. "Sorry, Suga-san."

With the power out, the punishments are limited to the little circle of light from their lanterns and flashlights, so he stands up, and directs Shoyo turn to a corner, telling him turn around and face it. 

"How long??" Shoyo whines.

"Not long," Sugawara says. "Think about _self control_ , Shoyo-chan. You have to think about things before you do them."

" _Okay_ ," Shoyo pouts. Then, just a few seconds later, "Suga-san?"

"Hm?"

"If someone was bad, but they're _sorry_ now – uhm, is it okay, sometimes," Shoyo smiles a very, very sweet smile that has obviously gotten him out of trouble in the past. "If they don't get punished?"

Sugawara tries not to let his amusement show. "Is that someone you, Sho-chan?"

"No!!" Shoyo shouts.

"Punishments help remind us not to misbehave, Shoyo. When someone misbehaves, they just have to be good until their punishment is over, and then everything is forgiven. Okay?"

Shoyo looks surprisingly sad about this when he nods, and turns to face the corner again.

Still, Sugawara is not immune to Shoyo's bubbly charm, and shaves two minutes off his corner time, welcoming him back into circle, where he immediately joins Yu's current game - pretending boys are so strong they can knock him over with a slight push. Yu falls to the ground, rolling with dramatic groans and gasps, while the children shriek in delight.

Sugawara watches this carefully, sensing it's the sort of game that can easily go off the rails, trying to think of a way to end it gracefully, when the door opens.

"Hello!" 

Sugawara looks over his shoulder to see Tooru there, pulling off a rain jacket.

"Tooru-san!!" The kids cry at once, ecstatic. 

Tooru grins at this, giving a cheeky wave. "Hey, everyone!" 

"This is a surprise," Sugawara laughs.

"Well, the power went out at our center!" Tooru says, sitting down dramatically between Hajime and Yuutaro, running a hand through his damp hair. "And I got so scared, I thought I'd feel better if I was here with you guys!" 

Hajime huffs at that, moving up to his knees, painfully earnest, "Don't be scared, Tooru."

Sugawara can see Tooru pause, having to bite his cheek to keep his reaction in check.

"Thank you, Hajime-san," he says, sincerely. "So, how is everyone? Was anyone else scared??"

The kids all start talking over one another, loudly, telling Tooru everything that's happened that night. 

"All the lights went out!!"

"It was from the storm – "

"I wasn't scared, Tooru-san!"

"I saw a ghost!"

Thunder cracks, and Akira seems to have reached his limit. He starts crying, and Tooru holds him in his lap, takes the flashlight he was holding and makes bunny ears with his fingers, trying to encourage Akira to do the same. He's just gotten a tentative pair, when a staffer finishes one of the headcounts. 

"Twenty-two," they say, looking around. "We're missing one."

Sugawara glances over the group, and the absence of bright orange hair is obvious.

"Shoyo," Sugawara sighs, climbing to his feet, wondering what's gotten into the boy tonight "I'll check the bathroom."

But he doesn't have to look that far. 

Shoyo is in the back hall, laying on the ground – Sugawara's first thought is that he's hurt, fallen, a sharp zing of energy shooting up his spine – but then Shoyo's foot kicks up thoughtlessly into the air, easy and relaxed. He's fine. The relief comes just as fast and strong as the fear, and it takes him a second to actually wonder what Shoyo is doing out here, in such a dark, surely scary place to be during a storm.

"It's okay," Shoyo is saying, quietly. His little fingers have slid beneath a door frame as far as they can go. "Don't be scared."

Sugawara blinks. Shoyo is in front of – 

The calm down room.

Oh. No.

Sugawara runs down the hall, barely having the presence of mind to lift Shoyo out of the way before throwing the door open.

Tobio. His face is crumpled, shaking with sharp, hiccuping tears. 

"He's sorry!" Shoyo is saying, somewhere behind him. "Can he come out now? He's really sorry!!"

Sugawara drops to his knees, grabbing for Tobio, pulling him close. "Tobio – I'm so sorry, I – " he forgot. He totally forgot. 

He's seen Tobio's angry tears, his scared tears and his sad tears. He's never felt him shiver like this. It's been _hours_ – two? Two hours at least?? The sun was still out when he put Tobio in the room, and it's dark now, so – possibly three? Three hours in the dark. 

"Come on," he says to Shoyo, standing up, carrying Tobio into the living area. 

"See? See, Tobio?" Shoyo is bouncing alongside Sugawara. "I knew if you were brave it'd be okay!"

Tobio has already stopped crying, which would be worrying enough even if he wasn't still shivering, and Sugawara feels a kind of soul-deep fear, suddenly scared to walk into the light and see Tobio's expression properly, see the damage that might be there. 

"Did you find – " Yu stops, eyes growing wide. 

The children are mostly oblivious, but the staffers stare in horror.

"What?" Tooru asks, looking around. "What happened? Tobio-chan snuck off?"

"He – he was in the calm down room, I forgot – " Sugawara says, feeling sick as he sits down with Tobio in his lap. "We have twenty-four now. I just – I kept counting to twenty-three. Tobio?"

He bends to look in Tobio's face, or tries to, but Tobio keeps trying to hide it against Sugawara's chest, so he stops fighting it, petting up and down his still shivering back instead.

"Is Tobio okay?" he hears one of the children ask, but the response of whoever answers is drowned out in the general ruckus of the room. 

"Tobio?" Shoyo says, climbing up to sit beside Sugawara. He's holding one of the extra sandwiches from the tray. "Do you want it? Are you hungry?"

Tobio does not react, still shaking, so Sugawara takes the sandwich and sets it beside him. "Let's just put it here. If he's hungry he'll grab it. Alright?"

"Okay!" Shoyo says, smiling.

"That was very thoughtful, Sho-chan," Sugawara says, feeling a bit numb as he does. How. How had he forgotten? His first thought was of Tobio, as soon as the power went out. It's like the fact that Tobio isn't afraid of storms checked him off some mental list Sugawara was keeping. 

He doubts he'll be able to say that again in the future – the next time there's a storm, Tobio will probably be alongside Akira and Tadashi, stiff with fear. The thought is beyond frustrating. 

Sugawara's not sure how much time passes, but the rest of the staffers have started suggesting setting up camp in the playroom for the night, when the lights finally flicker back on.

There's a happy cheer from the group, the release of tension and fear is palpable as they start getting to their feet, lots of relieved giggles and laughter as they're immediately herded to the doors. 

"Is it bathtime?" asks Tooru as he follows up the rear. "Or bedtime?"

"Dessert time!!" So shouts, optimistically.

Sugawara watches them go, still petting up and down Tobio's back. He sits with him in the silence for a long moment, not wanting to rush. Tobio's not shivering as much at least, which Sugawara hopes is a good sign. 

"I'm so sorry, Tobio," Sugawara says.

Tobio doesn't say anything, but he sniffles.

"You must have been so scared. Were you scared?" he asks. "Tobio-chan?"

Sugawara tries leaning back, putting his hand under Tobio's chin to look in his eyes, but Tobio forces his face back down, back into Sugawara's shirt, where he sobs desperately, shaking his head and clinging with both hands. 

"Okay," Sugawara says, hugging him tighter. "You're okay. It's okay." 

He holds him for a while longer, until he hears quiet in the rest of the center, and Tobio has grown quiet and limp against his chest. 

He wakes up, briefly, when Sugawara carries him to bed, laying him down.

"I'm sorry," Tobio says, so similar to the day before, weepy and broken sounding. "I woh – won't be bad anymore – "

"You weren't bad, Tobio," Sugawara says, quickly, petting down his hair. "That was my fault. You aren't in trouble – you weren't in trouble. Do you understand?"

Tobio nods, but Sugawara knows he does not. 

He sits on the side of Tobio's bed, waiting until he drops off to sleep, which he does quickly. What an awful day. How many awful days in a row is Tobio going to have? Guilt gnaws at Sugawara at the question. A better one might be, why hasn't Sugawara been able to stop them from happening?

"Sorry about that," Sugawara says, when he finally tracks down the person who was covering his shift: Tooru. He's in the nursery, changing one of the babies. 

"No worries," Tooru says. "I can stay later, if you need more time~"

"You have school tomorrow."

"Meh," Tooru shrugs, making an especially goofy face down the baby on the changing table, who giggles. 

"No, go home. Go to bed," Sugawara says, amused. "But thanks for coming by, it helped a lot."

Tooru gives a peace sign, then carries the infant back to his crib.

"So," Tooru says, and by now Sugawara knows this voice, even just from one word, a false, pretend sort of sweetness. "What's going to happen with Tobio and the calm down room?"

"What do you mean?"

"The next time Tobio is in _a mood_ ," Tooru says. "We're not going to be able to put him in the calm down room anymore, right? He seemed… " Tooru shrugs, trailing off.

Sugawara frowns. It's an intensely annoying question, but a good one. "We'll figure it out."

"We can't empty out a whole playroom for him," Tooru says. "And we can't block off the toilet or the washroom. Are we going to give him one of the staff rooms in the back? I don't think – "

"Thanks for the extra hand, Tooru-kun," Sugawara repeats, voice firm. "Go home. Go to bed. Study hard tomorrow, okay?"

Tooru glowers at him for a moment, like he might protest, then just rolls his eyes and leaves the room.

Just in time, because the second baby starts making noises of distress, having made a particularly smelly diaper. Sugawara changes it, far too accustomed to this sort of thing at this point for it to bother him, mulling over what Tooru said. 

He can't come up with an answer. And he'll need one, sure that after today, Tobio is likely going to have an intense backslide in behavior, tantruming and testing the boundaries daily, more insecure than ever. 

Maybe they can take him outside… ? No, winter will be coming soon... Sugawara sighs, then gives the baby a short, sharp raspberry on his stomach, smiling at their kicking delight.

Whatever the solution is, it can't be an inconvenience to the staff. At the beginning they will be sympathetic, he knows, understanding it's not Tobio's fault, but after a week or a month, these merciful feelings will fade. 

Sugawara groans to himself, still coming up blank as he walks from the older boy's room back to the five and six year olds.

He's sure his poor, overworked heart can't take anymore surprises for the day, but it somehow manages to jump into action when he sees the sheets pulled back on Tobio's bed. It's empty, Tobio's missing – _the calm down room_ is Sugawara's first, irrational thought – but the panic only lasts as long as it takes to look the room.

In Shoyo's bed, there are two tiny lumps instead of one. 

He blinks, taking another step forward. They're asleep, Shoyo's head is already off the pillow as he slides around the bed, apparently a very active sleeper, but Tobio has shifted to fit around his extended leg, curled around it.

There's another rumble of thunder, and the rain is still tapping against the windows. It's hard to tell with storm this heavy, but if he wants to be optimistic about it, he'd say it might be receding.


End file.
